The Blessings of
For I am jealous overyou with righteous jealousy. For I have espoused you to one Man, to present you as a pure virgin to Messiah.
2 Corinthians 11:2
Would you like to do something for young people? Tell the young people you know (your friends, children or grandchildren) about the curse of being ‘sexually active’ and about the blessings of purity before marriage.
Good reasons for young men and women to remain pure until they get married:
Sexual activity can hurt your body in major ways!
Sex messes up your dates.
Being sexually active leads to a reputation that diminishes your better associations.
Sex before marriage is not consistent with true love.
Previous sexual activity will most probably hurt your marriage and children.
Your body is not yours to do with as you please.
- Sexual immorality can lead to eternal death.
The explanation of these statements follows.
SEXUAL ACTIVITY CAN MESS UP YOUR BODY IN MANY MAJOR WAYS!
Of course, pregnancy can be a physical, financial and emotional disaster for a young unmarried couple. Besides that, you may catch one or more of the many sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) which are common today. For some, you must get shots. Others are a minor or major pain for the rest of your life. Still others can keep you from ever having children. Of course AIDS slowly, painfully and almost certainly will kill you.
If you plan to take your chances with STDs, take some time to look into what you can catch, how it will feel and how long it will last. You may change your mind about taking that chance. Condoms DO NOT provide safe sex and they do not prevent pregnancy; they only slightly reduce the chance.
The Apostle Paul advises: Run away from fornication! Every sin that a person does is outside the body; but he who commits fornication sins against his own body (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
SEX MESSES UP YOUR DATES
Many may say that sex is the reason they go out on a date. (How would you feel if you knew that was the main reason someone wanted to go out with you?) To think of a date without sex seems dumb to them. You could almost figure out just from that, that it is wrong. The Messiah said, What people regard highly is an abomination to Yahweh (Luke 16:15b).
The best dates do not include sex. What makes those dates so good?
You can get to know your date in a really personal way. While dates are often just for fun, one major purpose of dating is to learn how to get to know others. You may eventually find a partner to marry. Remember that you marry a mind; that is the most important thing about your spouse, BY FAR. Many things are far better revealed when you know there will be no sex on the date, such as his or her mind, sense of humor, conversation, ideas, areas of interest, mental focus, dreams and ambitions.
You do more interesting activities. When sex enters a relationship, it becomes the focus of action. It often excludes activities that would give a broader range of mental and physical stimulation.
You can study the scriptures and pray together. This is really just an example of the above; but it is important enough to deserve its own heading.
You can double with another couple. You can even double with one to four of your parents!
You feel better after the date: no worry, no guilt, no fear.
BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE LEADS TO A REPUTATION THAT DIMINISHES YOUR MOST VALUABLE, REWARDING AND ENJOYABLE ASSOCIATIONS
Everyone IS NOT doing it. Many young people have dedicated themselves to remaining pure until marriage. This group is generally happier, more fun to be with, more interesting, safer in every way, more intelligent and will enjoy a better future. You can choose to be part of that group of people, and this is one way to do it. But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding: he that does it destroys his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away (Proverbs 6:32-33).
Many people take Paul’s good advice without even realizing that they are doing so. You should also. I wrote to you in an epistle not to associate closely with fornicators. Yet not meaning with the fornicators of this world, or with those who are greedy, or extortioners [someone who puts pressure on you to take something of yours], or materialistic; for then you would need to go out of the world. But now I write to you not to associate, if anyone who is called a brother is a fornicator, or greedy or materialistic, or is abusive, or a drunkard, or steals. Do not even eat with such a person. For what business do I have to judge those who are outside? Do you not judge those who are within? But Yahweh will judge those who are outside. Therefore, put such a wicked person away from among yourselves (1 Corinthians 5:9-13).
Besides many fine people, you also cut yourself off from the most important friend you could have. You adulterers and adulteresses, do you not know that the friendship of the world is enmity with Yahweh? Whoever, therefore wants to be a friend of the world is the enemy of Yahweh (James 4:4).
SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE IS NOT CONSISTENT WITH TRUE LOVE
Although some people call having sex, ‘making love,’ it is not. True love means giving to the other person and striving for their best interests in every way. Sex before marriage comes from wanting to get, not from wanting to give.
Do you love your children? To imagine loving children who have not even been born may be difficult, but many young people do. They look forward to their future home and family. Those who have true love will be concerned about their future wife or husband and their future children. They will be devoted to them even before they have met them; before the children are born.
You could some day find yourself married and with a bitter spouse, frightened children and an unhappy home. Then it is too late to consider how important your family should have been to you during those years when you were younger.
One thought that might make it real to you is to consider your own family as you were growing up. Did your parents select their mate carefully? Did they love each other deeply for their entire life? Did they care about their children enough to work hard TOGETHER for the children’s good? How important are these things to you? Anyone who has had a childhood rich in these good things will tell you the great importance it had. Anyone who has suffered through an unhappy childhood will also tell you what a difference it might have made in their life.
Walk in love, as the Messiah also has loved us, and has given Himself for us; an offering and a sacrifice to Yahweh for a sweet smelling savor. But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be named among you once, as becomes saints (Ephesians 5:2-3).
PREVIOUS SEXUAL ACTIVITY HURTS YOUR MARRIAGE AND THEREFORE YOUR CHILDREN
There is always a special bond with the person to whom you first give yourself. Your relationship can never be that same way with anyone else. That probably explains why the divorce rate is A GREAT DEAL LOWER among couples who have had no previous sexual partners.
The effect of multiple sexual partners will last all a person’s life. The relationship to their spouse can never be the same, as if those memories did not exist. This is true of the sexual relationship in their marriage and also the general relationship of husband and wife. In daily life, the thought will often be below the surface that, “With someone else, this would be better.”
WORK FOR US
This is not to say that a person who has made a mistake while young cannot have a happy marriage. With love, courtesy, respect and careful attention, they can. However, it can never have that same very special quality that only happens with your first partner.
When both partners have been pure, they live together in marriage, and love one another more naturally and without those reservations. They cooperate better in raising their children and have happier children who grow up to be happier adults.
YOUR BODY IS NOT YOURS TO DO WITH AS YOU PLEASE
This may not be politically correct but here it is from Yahweh’s word:
What? do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have received from Yahweh, and you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify Yahweh in your body, and in your spirit, which belong to Yahweh (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Food is for the belly, and the belly for food: but Yahweh shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not meant for fornication but for [serving] Yahweh, and Yahweh for the body (1 Corinthians 6:13).
The following three scriptures have a spiritual meaning about the Assembly as the bride of the Messiah; but think about the image that also applies to our own marriages:
For I am jealous over you with righteous jealousy: for I have given you to be married to one husband, so that I may present you as a chaste virgin to the Messiah (2Corinthians 11:2).
These are they who are not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. These were redeemed from among men being the firstfruits unto Yahweh and to the Lamb (Revelation 14:4).
Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and His wife has made herself ready (Revelation 19:7).
SEXUAL IMMORALITY CAN LEAD TO ETERNAL DEATH
Deuteronomy 22:20-21, But if this thing is true, and the tokens of virginity are not found for the damsel, then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones so that she dies. It is because she has made a mockery in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house. In this way, you shall put evil away from among you. This death penalty is still in force (Matthew 5:17-28). The sin can be covered by the blood of the Messiah; but surely we do not want to execute him continuously for this reason! (Hebrews 6:4-6).
Further, we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Master Yahshua, which as you have learned from us how you have to live to please Yahweh, you would keep doing so more and more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Master Yahshua. For this is the will of Yahweh, even your dedication, that you should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to manage their sexual impulses in a dedicated and honorable manner; without giving in to lustful desires, as the Gentiles do who do not know Yahweh (1 Thessalonians 4:1-5).
Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14). As we saw earlier, the effect on your future spouse is also great if the act was committed before you even met. There is a technical difference between fornication and adultery, but both affect your marriage. Fornication (sex before marriage) has a great effect on a person’s future marriage and future spouse. Because it will hurt their future spouse, it must be considered to be a transgression against him or her, as well as against the laws of Yahweh.
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but Yahweh will judge whoremongers and adulterers (Hebrews 13:4).
Don’t you know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of Yahweh? Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind … shall inherit the Kingdom of Yahweh (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).
Now the works of the flesh are obvious, which are these: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness… (Galatians 5:19).
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders… (Mark 7:21).
And just as they did not like to retain Yahweh in their knowledge, Yahweh gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things that are not convenient; being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, hateful, full of envy, murder, argument, deceit, slander, whisperers, defamers, haters of Yahweh, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, uncompromising, unmerciful: who, knowing the judgment of Yahweh (that those who commit such things are worthy of death), not only do them, but are pleased when others do them (Romans 1:28-32).
I have written to you, fathers, because you have known Him that is from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of Yahweh lives in you, and you have overcome the wicked one. Do not love the world, nor the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world and its lust passes away: but he who does the will of Yahweh lives forever (1 John 2:14-17).
If a person has already been sexually active, they should begin immediately to be pure. Even though we cannot change the past, there are still great benefits to purity from this time forward. Making this change will be a concrete demonstration to yourself and to Yahweh of sincere repentance and a desire to live according to His right ways. As you can see, this is truly a message of life: happy productive, healthy, successful and even eternal life! Our Creator has given us our sexual characteristics to greatly enhance our marriage relationship. A good marriage is the greatest earthly pleasure a person can experience, and sex is one of the things that contributes to that joy. In addition, Yahweh has given us the rules about the use of sex—for our good. Like all of Yahweh’s laws, they spring from three things: His desire to see things done correctly, His knowledge of how His creation works and His great love for us. Yahweh’s ways work for us.
Because they love them, good parents and grandparents will inform their children of these good reasons and will also teach them to keep themselves pure. Some young people still use this old-fashioned reason not to engage in sex outside marriage, “Because my Dad would kill me, and then he’ll come looking for you!”
Siblings can set a good example for their brothers and sisters and other young people and share with them the reasons they have decided to remain pure: for a better life today, for the promise of a better marriage for the rest of their life, and because they love and want to please their Creator. You may have an opportunity to share this, too, with someone else. It is important to build strong, close, trusting relationships with young people you know. If you do, they will listen when you tell them to be chaste, because they will know that you love them. They will understand that your love is moving you to bring them this message of love from Yahweh.
The pledge found here is included to help you make a commitment and keep your resolve to do what is best for you. Pray about it, print it, fill it out, discuss it with your family and your friends, and put it up where you can see it often, renewing your pledge daily. It will surely impact the rest of your life!